My godparents, Terry and Armistead, are two of my best friends. When I was younger I learned that Terry had AIDS. I was devastated. Even though he wasn't sick, I was made to understand that he would die from the disease.

I've always known that Terry and Armistead are gay, but their sexuality didn't matter to me in any way. They were some of the most wonderful people in my life.

When I was twelve, Terry bought me a silver bracelet with the AIDS ribbon cast into it. It was the same AIDS ribbon that you see all those idiotic celebrities wearing, the one that is handed out at the door as they enter the Oscars. To many of those people, that ribbon is probably nothing more than fashionable, but on the bracelet, from Terry, it symbolized hope. I was told that the money for it went to finding a cure for the disease. When I looked at the bracelet, I thought of Terry and Armistead and all the radical discussions that we had together sitting in their house in San Francisco with my dad and step-mom. I loved being with them. I still do.

I wore that bracelet every day, but then I got older. Though my feelings about my godparents never changed, I worried what other people would begin to think. I began hearing people say horrible things about gay people. I don't know if their reactions were based on ignorance, fear, or both. There is such a stigma attached to people based on their sexual preference.

Recently, a man in Wyoming was killed because he was gay, it's not the first time. Many people, males in particular, are very threatened by homosexuality, probably because of their own insecurities about their sexuality. Prejudice by its nature is irrational, even when the stereotypes have no basis in fact. Still, I began feeling uncomfortable about wearing the bracelet he'd given me. I associated AIDS with being gay.

At Marin Academy, supposedly such a progressive school, I hear people say detrimental things about gays all the time. Even people who are sensitive to racial issues seem to put aside their morals when it comes to gays. It's so strange that sexual preference is such a big deal. If someone is gay it's used to describe and isolate them. A lot of this bashing is unconscious; people say, ``That's so gay'' when they're talking negatively about something. I've caught myself doing it. It's part of our vocabulary. Worse, students belittle one another by calling each other gay. Few people want to point out the offenses because we're at the age where we all want to fit in and avoid social alienation.

Finally, I stopped wearing the bracelet. I just wasn't strong enough at the time to stand up to my peers. That was wrong. The bracelet should be on wrist right now, but I took it off and lost it. I can blame our culture for making a kid feel badly about having gay friends, but there really is no one else to blame. It was my choice.

Sexual preference isn't relevant when it comes to a person's character. We must realize this and not ostracize people because of their sexuality. I'm sorry I lost the bracelet, but maybe its absence symbolizes more than its presence would. It symbolizes that I didn't have the strength to stand up for my friend.

Parents Do Matter
Nick Sheff, junior, Marin Academy, San Rafael, Calif.

There has recently been a growing controversy about parents' effect on their children sparked by the new book, The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out The Way They Do, in which author Judith Rich Harris claims they have almost none. It's scary to me that there seems to be a whole movement of people rushing to embrace this idea, including influential writers in The New Yorker and The New York Times. I believe Harris is wrong and her book is a cop-out for parents who don't want to accept the responsibility for their children.

In the book, Harris argues that, besides genes, peers are the main things that shape children. If a child is friends with ``bad'' kids, he or she will be ``bad.'' But why does one child choose to hang out with ``bad'' kids, while another chooses to hang out with kids who make better choices, have better values and maintain stronger characters? It is mostly because of the child's relationship with their parents.

If parents give children a feeling of self worth by communicating unconditional love and fostering an environment where they can feel comfortable telling their parents the truth, they will be more confident and will make better choices. If children hang out with ``bad'' kids, it may well be the parents' fault.

Harris disagrees. She writes that one of the only things parents can do to help their kids is ``... dress your child in the fashion of the moment so they are not ostracized. If their appearance is so odd that they are in danger of being shunned, spring for orthodontia. Or if you can afford it, or your health insurance will cover it, plastic surgery.''

Although this may be slightly sarcastic, reading it make me sick. Harris thinks parents can protect their kids from being teased by altering their physical appearances. However, I look at my own classmates and see that the ones who are most often teased and deeply hurt by their peers seem to be the ones who have low self-esteem, reinforced at home by parents.

Harris says her primary reason for writing this book was to ``lighten the burden of guilt and blame placed on parents of `problem' children.'' She told Newsweek magazine that she first got this idea by looking at her own family. Her youngest child, who is adopted, was very disobedient and rebellious. She stated that her biological child, however, was almost perfect, and she couldn't understand what caused the difference. Harris claims that she treated them equally, even baking them both ``homemade cakes'' for their birthdays (as if that were proof of equal love).

Harris concluded that her children's differences must be due to genetics or peers, probably not wanting to examine her own role to closely. Well, sorry Judith, but the problem with your adopted child may be your fault. My niece is adopted, and she is wonderful and is like her loving mom and dad in many ways. Instead of blaming others for their children's problems, parents should take full responsibility for them. In this culture, where so many kids are raised by TV and in day care centers, this isn't what some parents want to hear, which is probably why Harris' ideas are being so enthusiastically accepted.

When I meet my friends' parents, I see more than a physical resemblance. I can see reflections of their personalities, their politics, their interests, their senses of humor, their mannerisms. Parents influence their children by what they say and what they do. By building an environment of equal respect, parents can prove themselves trustworthy so their children can talk to them. If children can be honest with their parents, they won't feel afraid to face their mistakes. Parents should love without strings attached in order to build the self-esteem that will help their children make the best choices in life. Remember that parents do matter. As I once heard it put, ``parents are the air their child breathes.''

Telling Ghost Stories
Rick Bateman, senior, Lakota East High, Liberty Township, Ohio.

They had been given strict orders by Battalion Command. Because the attack would have to be made over the open ground of a rice paddy, their assault on the hill would have to be delayed until on-call artillery support could be arranged. The stream just before the hill at the end of the paddy would further slow them down. The company would be forced to build a makeshift bridge of bamboo poles on the run. Their jump-off point was a paddy dike wide enough for only one platoon of 40 men at a time which would split their 160-man force into four parts.

The Marines had begun to look around in apprehension and for good reason. Their orders had left them very vulnerable.

As the seconds ticked away, he looked up. The whole thing reminded him of old World War I films when zero hour approaches. All he lacked was a whistle to start the charge.

In the twilight before sunup, as the artillery rounds began to slam into the hill like immense firecrackers, Capt. Richard D. Camp made a conscious decision to lead the platoon. He climbed into position and stared at his watch, waiting for the last of the 105 mm rounds to stop on schedule. In a last thought of inspiration, Camp withdrew his bayonet from its scabbard and clicked it into place at the end of his M-16. The sound was echoed 40 times.

Ahead of them the shelling stopped and the waiting ended.

Like a master storyteller, Camp leans back in his chair and recounts the events that shaped his life. Here in Lakota's Special Services building thirty years and a world and a half away from old battlefields, Support Services Director Camp relates fear and a sense of honor with haunting clarity. He said things like ``gee,'' ``oh,boy,'' and ``neat,'' giving him a casual immunity when discussing life and death; the lives and deaths of fellow soldiers who took orders from him.

``It was a bad time in North Vietnam. The North Vietnamese (NVA) were swarming over the borders into the demilitarized zone,'' says retired Col. Camp staring down at his lap as if lost in his thoughts.

``To be honest, fixing bayonets was all I could come up with at the time. Hairs were standing up on my arms when we charged the hill. There was an incredible feeling of built-up adrenaline, and then nothing. We reached the ridge line without incident,'' he says getting back on the subject after a pause.

``Vietnam was like this; you're pretty young, you're scared, your senses are heightened, and the adrenaline is pumping. You can't see the enemy, but you can hear them, smell them. All you have is your M-16 rifle, some hand grenades, some gear to keep you alive, and all you know is that this is not fun and games,'' says Camp. ``It's like a shotgun going off and you had better not be in its way.''

According to Camp, making life-altering decisions is the reason why experience and responsibility mean more to servicemen and veterans. The definition of leadership by example is found in Camp's eyes. Camp looks like he is wearing a uniform while sporting a Polo. He gives the feeling that at age 57 he could crush men half his age and twice his size. But his weathered face and warm sardonic smile erase all thoughts of malevolence.

``You freeze in the positions and the facial expressions you were in when the bullets hit you. I've looked down at people with no faces because the bullets have cut them down. I will never forget the smell of death and the bodies and equipment stacked in separate piles. It's an awful experiences,'' says Camp less casually than before. ``Giving orders in the Marine Corps is about having lives in your hands. Even if you make the right decisions, people will die.''

As the director of support services, Camp is able to put his qualities of leadership to good use. Camp is in charge of building and ground renovations, and the bus transportation of over 14,000 students traveling over 9,500 miles a day. He also oversaw the 54-million-dollar project of building the two new high schools. Recently, Camp was named Ohio's Outstanding Business Manager of the Year by the Ohio Business School Council. Child Nutrition Director Treva Whitlock, who works under Camp, says that this honor is well deserved.

``He's the best person I've ever worked for,'' says Whitlock. ``My colleagues and I realized that the other day when he wasn't around and we could talk about him. He is such a good listener and a compassionate person.''

Camp says that a big part of his job is to promote communication between all the various departments in the district.

``We have a good time here. I make sure that we do things to promote camaraderie. We go out to lunch a lot and talk about projects and teamwork,'' says Camp, who explains that this makes for smooth operation of the district. These are skills Camp learned well during the war.

``You are the sum total of your experiences,'' says Camp. ``My experiences are of war and responsibility; of life and death.''

Camp served a term in Vietnam from June 1967 to July 1968 in which he commanded Rifle Company L of the Third Battalion 26th Regiment. He was in charge of moving 160 men along various grid quadrants while looking for the enemy along the demilitarized zones of Laos and Cambodia. Camp saw heavy combat while defending an area around Khe Sanh and was involved in the 90-day siege that was the apex and end to his days of combat. It begins a journey of sorts that would take 30 years for Camp and other veterans to complete; a return to Vietnam as living ghosts haunting battlefields that changed lives.

Capt. Camp arrived in Vietnam for the first time in June of 1967 while in his fifth year of service in the Marine Corps. He stepped off the plane in Da Nang fully expecting to gain command of a Marine company. He was granted his wish on his second day in the country. With trademark enthusiasm, Camp reported to the assistant division adjutant for officer assignments. Having been a former lieutenant in the Fourth Marines, he requested that he be given an assignment in that regiment.

After a little haggling and the news that there were no openings in Fourth regiment, Camp settled for the Third Battalion 26th Marines. With a wide grin, he accepted his new orders. Since Camp had already annoyed the assignments officer, he might as well beg the next logical question.

``Gee, did the last company commander rotate home or what?''

``No,'' responded the old lieutenant casually, ``the company commander was killed last night.''

It was a rough start to a relatively uneventful first two months in Vietnam. After taking command of Lima Company and learning the finer points of making oneself very flat to the ground, Camp and Lima Company scored Rough Rider duty which involved the transportation of supply convoys. While the job did not exactly appeal to anyone's sense of danger, Camp was not about to complain that his company hadn't been shot at.

He had decided to stop wondering where the war was or whether he would get into it. He went where he was sent and did what he was told when he got there. It was the way things were.

``My title was Lima Six, which means that I was the `Six' or commander of Lima Company. I would walk around with my radio operators who would basically make me look like a moving target,'' says Camp. ``My job was not to get killed and to worry about what was one thousand meters out.''

Camp would not have to wait much longer to get into the war. By mid-August Lima Company was assigned to support Mike and Kilo Companies in search and destroy tactics in Leatherneck Square. Leatherneck Square was a large agrarian area populated by rice paddies and war-torn villages. Scrub (a large grass) could grow to height of 10 to 12 feet making their searches for the enemy dangerous and difficult.

Leatherneck Square was dangerous because it was located so close to the demilitarized zone. Whenever companies could be spared from defense, they were sent to sweep much of the area.

Private First Class David Francis of Lima Company stuttered when he got excited.

``I see see see th th the them!'' Francis shouted. The initial burst of fire cut the men to the floor like a hard wind and the bullets whistled by and dropped into the tall grass.

Camp jumped heavily into the crater. Bullets tapped the dirt like drops of rain. It was the first time he had been shot at.

``The troops, even the green ones, were smarter than me. They were all on their bellies by the time me and my little pea brain was thinking, `Hey, they are shooting at me,' '' says Camp. ``Like a broken record, my mind was stopped on that central fact. They were shooting at me. Leaves and twigs were falling on my head.''

``There is an NVA in the tree,'' someone shouted as the fire of a friendly M-60 peeled the bark off the palm tree like pieces of dead skin.

``What do you mean he's not dead yet, cease fire,'' I shouted. ``You'll just piss him off.''

Back in the crater, Senior Corpsman Doc Bratton, was pounding the chest of a fallen Marine.

``Goddamnit, you are not gonna die. Breathe, breathe.''

Camp reached over and grabbed the shoulder of another Marine slumped over in a crater; it was Private Francis, the stutterer. The back of his head was blown out. He was the first dead Marine Camp had ever seen.

Behind him Bratton was still trying to revive the Marine. The man was already dead, his body, however, did not yet know it. He was the second dead Marine camp had ever seen.

``Death is not really one of my issues and when at war you don't think anything of killing because it is you or them,'' says Camp, turning his story back to the present. ``By the same token, to this day, I don't like to see people hurt in any way. Pain bothers me more deeply.''

The past also bothers Camp but only in retrospect.

``Looking back we probably shouldn't have been there. That being said, however, does not lessen the sacrifice,'' says Camp. ``I'll admit that there were points in the war in which fighting each day was about keeping buddies alive. People give you their lives and you hold them in your hand. A mistake kills a friend.''

Sometimes it is difficult for Camp to reconcile with death when dealing with the reality that America didn't belong in Vietnam.

``We stumbled into a war that kept a president in power and sent a generation to die on the other side of the Pacific,'' says Camp harshly but with obvious regret in his voice. He is speaking of a book that he and some of his veteran buddies have been reading. The book is H.R. McMaster's Dereliction of Duty. It chronicles the outright lies that fueled the Vietnam War, as well as the misrepresentations of truth by LBJ and his advisers, and the weakness of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Camp admits that when the war was over he was most upset by the way America received its soldiers. Camp talks of a country that spit on its heroes and blamed the wrong people for a war they weren't allowed to win. For him and other retired (Marines), it was hard to live with memories of people dying for no reason. It is not as if Camp and some of his friends are all of a sudden caught up in anti-war sentiment; they just believe that they have been cheated by a system that they have served and sacrificed for.

By late summer of 1967, the armed forces were running what was called the ``set-piece strategy.'' Unlike the search-and-destroy strategy developed and utilized for much of the war by overall forces Commander Gen. William Westmoreland, Marine forces had decided to take up positions and allow the enemy to come to them. This plan was adopted largely because there were not enough battalions in the field to run search and destroy because they were too busy in defense of bases.

Lima Company was pulled directly into one of the first of these actions at Con Thein. It was to be the bloodiest section of the war that Lima Company would encounter under Camp.

``In a two day period we lost 54 Marines and had over 400 people wounded out of a battalion of 600. What is that?'' Camp questions himself and then reaches in his drawer and pulls out a calculator. ``That's 75 percent. It was an absolute bloodbath. That is why I returned. I stood on a hill that I recognized as a place where 30 years ago a battalion was wiped out rescuing another. It was a powerful experience.''

For the rest of the war Lima Company was assigned to the defense of the Khe Sanh perimeter and the sweeping of the surrounding area at that time. Camp returned as part of the anniversary that marked the largest of the set-piece battles that his company was involved in. The battle at Khe Sanh lasted 90 days in which artillery fought off the closing NVA and left perimeter defenses to the likes of Lima Company.

Thirty years later Camp returned to the runways, ruins, and abandoned bunkers that he protected.

``We were ghosts, really; people with a common bond. As we walked we could see the dead. It was incredibly memory-evoking.'' Camp swore he could see people in the sky.

``We could walk the ground together and understand the significance of places where we were without speaking. That was important to us,'' says retired Col. Thomas Early about the return trip to Vietnam.

Ghosts like Camp and Early returned in March of this year as part of a military historical tour group led by former battalion commandant Gen. Carl Mundy. The trip took place to commemorate the 30-year anniversary of the battle of Khe Sanh, which took place on March 16 of 1968. Sixty people attended the trip, nine of whom were veterans of the battle. The rest were family members and fellow soldiers.

``It's a history lesson for everyone. It was very powerful to be there,'' says Mundy, who is currently CEO of the World United Service Organization. ``It was a reunion on a grand scale.''

The trip was organized by Mundy through Military Historical Tours as a way to teach currents Marines about the sacrifices and responsibility of war. Mundy says that there is no better person to teach such lessons then Camp, who he describes as ``a thorough and energetic leader.'' According to R.R. Keene of Leatherneck Magazine, Camp is somewhat of a cult hero among the returning Marines for his no holds barred account of Vietnam, Lima Six, that was published in 1989. In Lima Six, Camp chronicles exactly what it felt like to be in Vietnam at the time. For this reason, it was important for Camp to see what it was like today.

``In places there were unexploded shells, and pieces of broken helmets. It was a great memory aid,'' says Camp who is an avid military historian. ``The country is largely unchanged in a lot of areas, but overall it is much better off.''

For the veterans, returning was about remembering fallen buddies and walking grounds that shaped their lives not for healing but for remembering.

``I was with my radio operator Ken Sandal, and we were just talking about how bad we had gotten hosed in this one area,'' says Camp remembering. ``I realized he had gotten really quiet so I turned to him. Streams of tears were running down his face and he said to me, `Skipper, you brought us home.' It was very emotional.''

The return to Vietnam also allowed many of the veterans to pay tribute to specific people, heroes of theirs that never made it off the hill alive.

``We were commemorating the death of a buddy of ours, an Irishman named Joe Loughren.'' Early is speaking of a ceremony that they performed on Hill 861. ``We drank whiskey over the spot where he stepped on a mine.''

Equipped with detailed maps, the group hiked to places that had been scenes for many great stories.

``The communist government has done well to cover up the battle sites,'' says Early. ``When we were there it looked like the moon.''

They might as well have been walking on the moon. Today all that is left of Khe Sanh is a monument to the U.S. imperial forces and some debris. Before they departed from what was left of the base, former reconnaissance Marine Steve Johnson played ``Amazing Grace'' on the bagpipes while the onlookers wept. Through the stories of people like Camp, honoring the dead at Khe Sanh will mean more than any sign erected to mark a battle site.

Skeletons out of the closet
Rick Bateman, senior, Lakota East High, Liberty Township, Ohio.

"It's a typical situation, in these typical times," Dave Matthews sings from my radio, as I pull into the St. Johns Unitarian Universalist Church in Clifton. ``Everybody's happy, everybody's free, keep the big door open, everyone will come around,'' continues Dave. The song was helping to calm me because I was on my way to a very intimidating interview. I was going to be talking to a 17-year-old lesbian. ``Why are you different, why are you that way,'' says Dave in my head as I turn the car off. And as I walk into the church, the musical irony hits me. In just a few moments, I will be asking someone those same questions.

She was not all what I had expected, of course I don't remember expecting anything. But nevertheless, she was certainly not like any lesbian I had seen on TV, and as she smiled at me through her Lennon-esque glasses, I was conscious of not being nervous anymore.

She talked about history like every social studies teacher I've had. History is ``something we learn so we don't repeat the mistakes of the past.''

An easy thing, she explains, when discussing the changing roles of homosexuals, for those people living in the future to say about the tolerance and ideas of those who came to judge the mistakes of the past, and practice the prejudices of the day.

``I was born gay; I came out in the ninth grade, and I've known since an early age that this is who I am,'' says Sean Bryant, a lesbian, a senior at Western Hills High School and a self-proclaimed activist on just about everything.

``People say that homosexuals want more rights. We don't want more rights, we want to be included in the ones that already exist,'' says Bryant.

According to a SPARK survey of 516 Lakota East High School students and 48 teachers, 24 percent of students and 46 percent of teachers say the rights of homosexuals should be protected by law, while 42 percent of students and 28 percent of teachers felt their rights should not be protected. The remaining percentage had no opinion.

Junior Eric Powell, like many Lakota East students, had mixed feelings about homosexuals and their changing roles.

``I don't have a problem with people who are homosexuals, or people who choose that lifestyle,'' says Powell. ``It's the scientific concept that bothers me. Our bodies just don't work that way.''

Bryant feels that homosexual gender roles are changing. Because people are not used to homosexuality she feels many people are unable to accept homosexual establishment of legitimate relationships.

``People ask, ``Why do you need to marry?' And I say for the same reason that heterosexuals need to marry. You want to recognize your life partner and we want to recognize our life partner,'' says Bryant. ``I don't think we should have to argue about having our lives recognized by the state.''

Kevin (not his real name), an East homosexual, feels the same way.< ``There is no reason why homosexuals can't get married,'' says Kevin. ``When two people love each other, they should have that right like anyone else.''

Diane Dimauro, Ph.D. in psychology with a speciality in human sexuality, and director of the Ford Foundation of New York, feels that any relationships, and society's reaction to those relationships are based upon boundaries.

``When any one group crosses these traditional boundaries, a negative reaction results,'' says Dimauro, who adds that these negative boundaries are more accepted when gay females cross them.

``It's easier for homosexual females to cross these boundaries because the majority of people, predominantly heterosexual males, are less threatened,'' says Dimauro.

Bryant and Kevin share the opinion that the roles of homosexuals in relationships are widely misunderstood. Bryant says that much of the discrimination toward homosexuals comes from this misunderstanding, and that homosexuality is not always portrayed correctly on television and the media.

``When Ellen DeGeneres first came out, I was kind of happy, but at the time people were saying, `So what.' I'm happy she is out there because she is a positive lesbian role model. Too often gay and lesbian relationships are depicted to the heterosexual community as abusive. I like the way Ellen is depicted positively, going through the same things as heterosexuals go through,'' says Bryant, who adds that she is disappointed that there are no similar roles depicting homosexual males which adds to heterosexual confusion about homosexual relationships.

According to the SPARK survey, 76 percent of students and 67 percent of teachers feel that society is more accepting of homosexual females.

``Gay females are much more accepted than gay males. For some reason, people can accept two women kissing and having a relationship, but not two men, '' says Bryant. ``It's like two women having a relationship are lesbians, and when it's two guys, well, they're fags.''

Bryant feels that as gender roles change in society, the line between masculinity and femininity becomes harder to define and recognize. Society tends to treat all masculine females and feminine males as homosexual. She says these labels not only add to the confusion but are used as an opportunity to use homosexuality as a derogatory term.

``I don't think anyone can spot a homosexual walking down the street unless they're wearing a T-shirt. In some ways only homosexuals can identify other homosexuals, they can sense that feeling of hiding something because they have gone through it,'' says Bryant. ``They know they're hiding what they don't want people to know, but need people to know.''

Bryant says that real homosexual lifestyles and relationships are closer to heterosexual relationships than anything else. Often the media displays these differently showing partner dominance, similar to masculine and feminine roles.

``I think that in every relationship, heterosexual or homosexual, there is a dominant partner, but that's with any relationship,'' says Bryant, ``Dominance switches on and off, but there is usually someone in control. I see heterosexual relationships with dominant females dragging their boyfriends somewhere all the time.''

It's these perceived differences that alienated Bryant from her family and is now the reason she lives with her aunt. Her family was unable to accept her homosexuality when she came out at a young age. She was told that she could not be around her family if she had a girlfriend with her. She felt her parents were unable to accept her, so she left home.

Like her parents, many East students feel similarly. According to the SPARK survey, 59 percent of students and 34 percent of teachers feel homosexuality is a result of choice.

New York family life and sexuality counselor Laura Littner says that the change in homosexual gender roles is based on society's perception.

``We see differences now more than ever,'' says Littner. ``So naturally people want to explain what's happening by blaming homosexuality on choice. People never ask where heterosexuality comes from; they assume it's natural. Why must homosexuality be any different?''

Despite negative feelings displayed by East students and society toward homosexuality, Bryant feels that there will be a time when homosexuality will be as accepted as anything else.

``That time is coming. I think people will no longer let other people dictate who they are. People are sick of being told no. I think a lot of people are realizing that rights and acceptance are not just something we're fighting for, they're something we need,'' says Bryant. ``I compare the struggle for these rights to that of the civil rights movement and Martin Luther King. Some people say it's not the same thing. But it is the same, the only difference is it's about sexuality, not skin color.''

``It's a typical situation, in these typical times. Too many choices,'' says Dave speaking to me from the silent radio as I pull away from the church. This time it's not intimidation that's on my mind. It's the way she smiled when she told me how she really felt. She was proud of who she was and the ideas she represented. ``We can't do a thing a about it. Too many choices.''

'Mutual Agreement' Sparks Ondrof's Departure, Controversy
Parent and Student Ourtrage Prompts Rescinding of Contract
Jonathan Warren Emmet Darman, senior, Potomac School, McLean, Va.

After two weeks of public controversy and closed-door decision making, Potomac announced on Wednesday, November 11 that by ``mutual agreement,'' a coach accused of allowing racism at a previous position would not coach in the Upper School.

In an open-enveloped letter to the Potomac community, Headmaster Brian Wright said that the girls varsity basketball coach, Matthew Ondrof, was leaving for ``personal reasons'' and that his contract would be rescinded.

The announcement came in response to community pressure to remove Mr. Ondrof after the school's decision to hire him was made public in a short article in The Washington Post. Students, faculty, parents and alumni all expressed concerns that the school had hired a racist. Before long, the decision to bring Mr. Ondrof on board had been reversed.

There are, however, people who feel the truth was never told either about Mr. Ondrof's past or the circumstances surrounding his brief stay at Potomac. While neither the Board nor Mr. Ondrof were able to comment about the events, The Current has looked to both areas and reconstructed the events of Mr. Ondrof's past and his brief tenure at Potomac.

Racist symbols at Brentsville High School
Mr. Ondrof was accused of allowing players on the varsity baseball team at Brentsville High School to use a racist symbol as a good-luck charm. It is the connection to the symbol, though heavily contested, that makes him such a controversial figure today.

The symbol, referred to as ``the well,'' is a circle with two cross-bars and eight dots around its perimeter. It is supposed to represent what would be seen by an African American thrown down a well as he looks back up at the Ku Klux Klansmen who threw him down. Press reports from 1995 indicate that Brentsville varsity baseball players started using the symbol in 1990 after an altercation between a white Brentsville player and an African-American player from another team. Allegedly, the Brentsville player returned to the dugout and used his bat to sketch the symbol in the dirt saying, ``Let's throw him in the well.''

In July of 1995, reporters from The Potomac News learned of the symbol and the players' custom of drawing it in the sand as they waited in the on-deck circle.

An investigation by the Prince William County School Board concluded that neither the varsity coach nor Mr. Ondrof, who was a JV coach, knew about the symbol's meaning.

After the investigation's completion, however, The Potomac News came forward with a taped transcript of a conversation between Mr. Ondrof and a Potomac News reporter before the allegations went public. That transcript indicates that the players had explained the symbol to Mr. Ondrof and that he was fully aware of the symbol's meaning.

But Mr. Ondrof said his quotes were taken out of context. He said he only discovered the symbol's racist connotations when The Potomac News reporters started looking into the matter and, because the varsity coach was out of town, it fell on Mr. Ondrof to pursue the issue with players.

In a letter to Prince William's superintendent of schools, Edward L. Kelly, Mr. Ondrof said, ``I know what I meant when I spoke to that reporter and that was this: the kids used their symbol of an `X' in the on-deck circle as a baseball superstition, not as anything racist.

``They told me about the superstition, not about any racist meaning behind it. It wasn't until my conversation with the kids in the gym in July, after school was out, before I talked to that reporter, that I first heard of any connection to the symbol they were using.''< In that letter he also said, ``I do not believe in racism. I do not tolerate it in my classroom.''

But in response to The Potomac News transcript, Mr. Kelly recommended Mr. Ondrof be dismissed from teaching in Prince William County. Instead, the School Board suspended him for one year and banned him from coaching at Brentsville. In 1996, he was hired to teach English at another Prince William County school, Stonewall Jackson High School in Manassas. He is still on faculty at that school.

The hiring of Matthew Ondrof
In July of 1998, Tracy Swecker, Potomac's girls athletic director, received a call from an applicant for the position of girls' varsity basketball coach. Nearing the end of her search, Ms. Swecker was reluctant to interview yet another candidate. But this applicant, Matt Ondrof, made such a positive impression on Ms. Swecker that she asked him to come in for a personal interview. Although she vaguely remembered hearing about the racial incident at Brentsville, she didn't make the connection when Mr. Ondrof called her. She said that she was alerted to the incident when he brought it up in the ``first five minutes of our interview.'' The rest of their lengthy conversation had little to do with basketball. Instead, it centered around the incident at Brentsville and ``what his experience had taught him about life and how it had changed him as a person.''

She said that Mr. Ondrof's words impressed her. She realized that he had made a mistake in the past, ``the nature of which involved not going through channels before talking to the press and talking to reporters without a better understanding of the situation.'' But she did not believe Mr. Ondrof was a racist. She thought that as an ``open-minded'' community, Potomac would ``view him fairly.''

Reference checking corroborated Mr. Ondrof's version of events at Brentsville. Ms. Swecker talked to a list of individuals presented to her by Mr. Ondrof including former parents, students and colleagues, some of whom said Mr. Ondrof was a ``scapegoat'' blamed to ``save the face of the community.'' Ms. Swecker did not speak to Prince William County School Board officials until a later time, nor did she read old press coverage.

But Mr. Ondrof was quickly becoming one of Ms. Swecker's top candidates. He and two other finalists met with two of this year's girls' basketball captains, Carolyn Weiss and Elizabeth Hawkins. The third, Shaunna Burgess, was out of town. Ms. Swecker, following her general policy of not discussing a candidate's past with players, did not tell the captains about Mr. Ondrof's history.

After receiving positive feedback from the captains, Ms. Swecker made arrangements for Dr. Wright and Upper School Head Andy Watson to meet with Mr. Ondrof, who was by then her top choice. Although new coaches do not always meet with these two men, head coaches generally talk to the heads of school before signing on. Ms. Swecker also informed Mssrs. Watson and Wright of the allegations from Mr. Ondrof's past.

``I think it was our impression that this was a young man who'd learned a lot from a terrible experience,'' said Dr. Wright. ``...And was someone who was now really committed to finding a path to talk about diversity and racial equity.''

Mr. Watson says Ms. Swecker's background checking reassured him. ``It's absolutely clear to me,'' he said, ``that no one in this school, particularly anyone involved in this situation, would knowingly bring anyone on board if they thought he or she was a racist.''

Publicity and controversy.
Soon, however, many in the Potomac community believed that the school had done just that. On Wednesday, October 28, a brief article in the Notebook section of The Washington Post sports section entitled, ``Second Chance'' announced the school's hiring of Mr. Ondrof as girls' varsity basketball coach. It also mentioned Mr. Ondrof's past at the Brentsville High School. It was the first time the Potomac community was made aware of the new coach's past.

By the end of the day, students had made copies of the article attached to a rendering of ``the well'' and pasted it around the school. It was hard for many to comprehend why Potomac would welcome someone who had allowed such a vicious symbol.

Girls' basketball players were in state of shock. Captain Shaunna Burgess said, ``I felt that as a captain, a lot of people were looking to me for answers. I felt kind of helpless because basically I was as shocked as everyone else was when I read this.''

The article quoted Ms. Swecker as saying, ``When he interviewed he was not only my top pick, but the girls' top pick.'' Two paragraphs later, the article detailed Mr. Ondrof's suspension from Brentsville. Some took this to mean the captains were aware of Mr. Ondrof's past when they picked him. They were not.

In fact, Ms. Swecker said, The Post never brought up Mr. Ondrof's past when they called her up for a comment. She said that the reporter's intent was to embarrass her and the school. ``They didn't want to print anything positive about Potomac,'' she said, ``so anything I said they would juxtapose with something negative which in effect makes the school's actions appear ludicrous.''

Mr. Watson said that the press doesn't always have the best interest of the school in mind. ``Newspapers love to get a private school going through something and write about it...'' he said. To combat the growing public outrage at Mr. Ondrof's hiring, Ms. Swecker met with the girls' basketball team at break on Thursday, October 29 to explain Mr. Ondrof's version of the events at Brentsville. Some players had already reached conclusions about whether or not Mr. Ondrof was an appropriate choice for their coach.

``When the story first came out,'' Shaunna said, ``there was a lot of conflict just within players on the team, people immediately taking sides and I think a lot of that was coming from parents...''

But she said that the meeting with Ms. Swecker eased some of the players' concerns. ``The first meeting we had with Ms. Swecker, where she sort of presented everything to us, after that people were a lot more open-minded about it.''

Ms. Swecker also scheduled a meeting between players and Mr. Ondrof for the following evening, Friday, October 30. This meeting was to be followed by a meeting between team parents and Mr. Ondrof on Monday, November 2. In Upper School assembly on that Thursday, Mr. Watson said he wanted to use Mr. Ondrof's arrival as a learning experience and that he wanted him to meet with groups like ASAP and the Black Student Union. In fact, Mr. Ondrof would never have any official meeting with Potomac students or parent groups.

Mr. Ondrof's departure and its aftermath
Mid-morning on Friday, October 30, Ms. Swecker received a call from Dr. Wright asking her to cancel a meeting between Mr. Ondrof and basketball players that night. A special meeting with Board members had been called the next day to discuss the responses pouring in to the school from concerned parents, faculty and students.

In that meeting, Ms. Swecker presented Board members with a packet of information including a letter from Mr. Ondrof explaining why he wanted to coach at Potomac, his resume and seven positive references on his behalf. It also included a time-table of the events at Brentsville High School, according to Mr. Ondrof, and two 1995 letters to Dr. Kelly, one from Mr. Ondrof and one from a colleague of Turkish descent, speaking at the time in his defense.

Ms. Swecker also used that meeting as a chance to relate her personal impressions of Mr. Ondrof to Board members. She articulated why she felt that Mr. Ondrof was the right person for the basketball position and explaining her understanding of the situation in his past. Before leaving the meeting she told those assembled that Mr. Ondrof wanted to make his case to them in person.

But although some Board members would later speak with Mr. Ondrof, he never got a chance to make his case to that assembled group. At some point between their Saturday meeting on October 30 and the announcement on November 11, the two sides reached a ``mutual agreement'' and Mr. Ondrof agreed to ``rescind his contract.''

During those 12 days, rumors circulated that the school was going to back out of its contract with Mr. Ondrof. Although the contents of the October 31 meeting were supposed to remain confidential, some in the community said they had heard Mr. Ondrof's contract would be rescinded.

Shaunna said the waiting period made team members anxious. ``During that whole time there was a lot of confusion because people didn't know what was going on. I've always thought it makes things worse when you keep everything closed.''

Dr. Wright said that once the issue became public, the school realized that the image brought on by hiring Mr. Ondrof would be too damaging to the school. ``We knew that it was an issue that would reflect badly on the school,'' he said, ``and it wasn't worth it, it wasn't the right thing to do.

``All of us agreed that on balance it wasn't the right thing to do right now because it was too divisive, and just too difficult, and our community's plight is too fragile for this. We haven't got enough trust (from the community) about how strongly we believe in diversity to handle this.''

Dr. Wright realized that probably they should have considered the publicity hiring Mr. Ondrof would bring on. He said, ``I think we just focused too much on the journey a young man was facing and not on what our community's needs were.''

Ms. Swecker said the announcement of the decision with two school days left before the basketball season left her in an awkward position. She said, ``The challenges for me have been first, a concern for the truth, making sure people heard the story from both sides in addition to the printed word because it's not that simple. Second, the decision-making process, that the announcement on Wednesday (left me) with two days to find a coaching staff. And three, that the news went home in letters distributed by advisers but no one was equipped to tell the advisers what had really happened.''

Ms. Swecker regretted that Mr. Ondrof never got a chance to make his case to the Potomac community. Furthermore, she wishes she had been given a better opportunity to explain her reasoning in hiring him. She believes that had the whole truth come out, Mr. Ondrof's presence would have been easier for many in the community to accept.

``I can completely appreciate the decisions that a school makes,'' she said. ``But what's difficult for me is the truth. If everyone knew what went in to the decisions that were made, there would be a lot of people in this community who would feel either that it was a good decision, or that it was a good decision for a person but not for a school that's not ready.''

She claimed to understand the concerns of those that feel that hiring an accused racist does not send a positive message on Potomac's commitment to diversity. But, she said, ``I don't think we made a better statement about who we are by not wrestling with this.''

She went on to say that despite the controversial nature of the topic, ``I firmly believe that this school is capable of dealing with this issue.''

Ms. Swecker was also discouraged by the tendency of some in the community to ``jump to conclusions'' without first hearing her side and eventually Mr. Ondrof's side of the story. After the publication of the original Post article on October 28, several faculty members e-mailed Ms. Swecker, Dr. Wright and other school officials, some saying they would not support the girls' basketball program if Mr. Ondrof coached at Potomac, and others questioning the background work done in the process. Some claimed that their sentiments represented much of the Potomac community.

Ms. Swecker viewed these statements as personal attacks. ``I felt like they were coming at me from all sides and they were doing so without the facts,'' she said.

Mr. Watson had a different view. He said that the people who complained to him were, ``very concerned, but in true Potomac fashion...they had an open mind and they just wanted to know what was going on. So a lot of people spent a lot of time returning phone calls and talking to people about the whole story as opposed to just the press. And again in true Potomac fashion, most people I talked to listened and understood and returned the trust to the school that they thought had been broken.''

Dr. Wright said that he too had mostly received open-minded feedback from members of the community, ``I've had people from all points of view on this. I've got to hand it to our community, I think they've handled it with tact and sensitivity... It brought along very intense conversation from people who were willing to listen, people who were willing to understand.''

But Ms. Swecker said that community's reaction did not reflect well on the school's mission statement of kindness, civility and generosity of spirit. ``To me, kindness and generosity of spirit mean the way we treat each other in difficult times and the way we communicate with each other,'' she said.

The basketball team, meanwhile, has started practicing with its new coach. Shaunna said that although the publicity surrounding its coaching has been traumatic, the team is trying to pull together. ``We're all a little bit disappointed but I think the mind-set that we have right now is that the coaching doesn't matter as much as...the team, we're all dealing with the fact that that's an outside thing and it happened but it's up to us to move on.''

But she fears that the incident may have damaged the team. ``One of the saddest parts is that in the past couple of years this is the strongest team we've had,'' she said, ``and I'm hoping that people are going to be able to kind of put that aside and work with the team.''

Dr. Wright to Leave after 1999
Headmaster Gives Personal Reasons as Impetus for Departure
Jon Darman, senior, Potomac School, McLean, Va.

With a surprise announcement to the faculty on Monday, May 4 that has sent waves of interest mixed with shock around the Potomac community, Dr. Brian Wright expressed his intention to resign as Potomac's Headmaster effective June 30, 1999. With the Headmaster's decision that he will leave Potomac at the end of the school year, his seventh at the school, comes the need to start a search process to find a new administrator to lead the school into the next century.

A May 1 letter of resignation from the Headmaster to Sally E. Pingree, chair of the Board of Trustees, that was distributed to all Potomac families, said ``It could never be an easy decision to leave a wonderful school like Potomac, but after much soul searching, I have decided that the 1998-99 school year will be my final one here.''

In an interview with The Current, Dr. Wright explained, ``Potomac is a tough place to leave...I felt it was a good time for me personally and also a good time for the school.''

The letter remarked upon ``two important factors'' contributing to the Headmaster's decision. ``First, I feel that with my son graduating this year, it is the right time for me to move to new educational challenges. Equally important is the fact that Potomac is now stronger than it has ever been and is well poised for continued success in the future.''

The Headmaster's announcement now puts Potomac in the less familiar position of having a head of school who has announced his intention to leave more than a year in advance of his actual departure. ``It has some drawbacks,'' Dr. Wright noted. ``You're a little bit in the same position as when a President is in his last year and there's the lame-duck effect.''

Others brushed off the notion that the decision to stay on for another year was anything out of the ordinary. ``It's a pretty common model,'' said Upper School Head Andy Watson. ``Considering the alternative is to have the Headmaster leaving and there's not that period of time to find a good Headmaster, you really need a cycle like this.''

Intermediate School Head Scott Christian agreed, ``Any time you have a transition it's a factor in the life of the school. Another strength of Brian's has been...that he has built such a solid foundation. So, he's got all the pieces in place. There will be some anxiety as there will be at any school, but in terms of how we function I don't think it will effect us.''

One of the most obvious concerns in relation to Dr. Wright's decision is the effect a departing Headmaster could have on the school's capital campaign and execution of the master plan. However, Dr. Wright is not worried that the capital campaign will be hurt by the news of his departure, claiming that most of the fund-raising work has already been completed.

``It will be done by the time I leave,'' Dr. Wright said. ``We've already got five of the eight million with another additional one million dollars for the Lee property. I've been traveling around the country this year raising money for the campaign and people want to give money to the school.''

Other administrators involved in money raising expressed a similar judgment. Virginia Howard, the school's director of development, said, ``It won't have any adverse affect on the capital campaign...People don't give money because of the Headmaster. They give money because they love the school...Of course when there's a change like this at some point it makes us rethink. But in the end we're sure the capital campaign will be a success.''

Dr. Wright's decision came as a surprise to many in the school community who saw the Headmaster as a staple of the school's longevity. Upper School math teacher John Fisher expressed reaction to the news, ``I was surprised because I had no inclination that he was thinking about a decision like that. And I also was surprised because in the two years that I've been here I've always felt that he's been a very good leader for the school.'' Junior Patrick Nemeroff said, ``I was surprised because I never expected for him to leave but I don't think you ever expect for anyone to leave and I guess it's normal for headmasters to leave after six or seven years.''

Dr. Wright's successor will be the school's fifth headmaster in the past twelve years. Indeed, the shuffling around of top-level administrators since Potomac expanded with the Upper School in 1987 has not been a completely smooth ride. The details surrounding the departures of Headmasters David Hardman and William Clarkson as well as division heads John Mackenzie and Chris Kloman generated a fair amount of controversy in the past.

It is a precedent of this nature that makes some in the community skeptical as to the real reasons behind Dr. Wright's departure. The Headmaster, however, brushed off ideas about other circumstances dictating his decision. ``There are always going to be rumors. I always ignore that stuff because I'm going to do what's best for me and what's best for the school. The rest will take care of itself.''

In fact, Dr. Wright's six-year tenure as Headmaster has seen substantial change in the face of the Potomac School. The Headmaster arrived at Potomac in the fall of 1992 after previous positions in schools in different areas of the country including Hawaii and New York.

When asked to comment on Dr. Wright's strengths as Headmaster, Mr. Christian said, ``In general, I find him extraordinary[e]I think of his integrity, his objectivity and his ability to look very clearly and calmly at a problem and not get his ego involved, just to solve it for what it is.''

Mr. Watson agreed, ``He has supported me in tough situations and yet he has given me the room to run the Upper School in ways that I think right. It's the perfect blend of support and freedom to have in a boss.''

In the midst of negotiations with Evermay, building the new performing arts center, and integrating the newly acquired Lee property, the school must now face the additional task of finding a replacement to pick up where Dr. Wright is leaving off. The headmaster believes that the school will not seek an interim head and instead immediately install a permanent replacement, ``unless they don't like the pool of candidates they get. But I don't imagine that would be the case because this is a wonderful school.''

Hall of Famer comes off the bench for teachers
Legendary basketball player instructs kids at Blair in class as well as on the court
Jennifer Song, senior, Montgomery Blair High School, Silver Spring, Md.

Pointing to the slender substitute teacher standing awkwardly among a group of teenagers, physical education instructor Linda Wolf asks one of her students, ``Do you think you could beat him at hoops?''

The student cautiously eyes his 6'4'' opponent. Upon seeing the patches of white hair fringing his face, he states in a clear, confident voice, ``Yeah, like this old man could beat me.''

The odd pair steps onto the basketball court, the giant towering over the dwarf. The boy tries dribbling around his opponent's long legs, but to no avail. Finally, the man's arms reach out and snatch the ball. In one fluid movement, the man turns and shoots. Swish. ``Give me the ball,'' he says as he returns to the top of the key. The boy, momentarily taken aback, plans to steal the ball back. However, instead of dribbling, the man simply jumps and cocks his arms, aiming the ball for the basket. Swish. ``Give me the ball,'' he says again, the first sign of a grin cracking his face. The boy never gets the ball back. The old man wins, 10 to nothing. Wolf forgot to warn the boy that Sam Jones, his substitute teacher, is a basketball legend.

Jones was the first-round draft pick of the Celtics in 1957, and went on to win 10 basketball championships during his 12-year professional career. He also made five All-Star game appearances, and played 871 regular season games and 154 playoff games. Jones scored 15,411 points, and averaged 17.7 points per game, as well as a career-high 25.9 points per game in 1965. In 1970, he was named to the National Basketball Association's Silver Anniversary Team, which honors the greatest players in the league's first 25 years. Later, Jones was inducted to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 1983. Also, in 1996, he was named by the National Basketball Association as one of the 50 all-time best players in the league. And he's won lots of one-on-one games against several high school students.

The moves make the man.
Jones was born on June 24, 1933 in Laurinburg, North Carolina, where he was first encouraged to play basketball in his neighborhood. He joined his high school varsity basketball team before receiving a scholarship to North Carolina Central College. There, Jones received a Bachelor of Science in education and English and was planning to be an English and physical education instructor if the Celtics hadn't drafted him. Meanwhile, Jones scored 1,770 points at NC Central under Hall of Fame coach John MacLendon, but was relatively unknown.

In 1957, Jones was selected as the first-round pick by legendary head coach Red Auerbach. Although Jones warmed the bench during his rookie year, he remembers learning from other players. ``(Playing in a professional league) was different because you didn't play as much as you wanted to, but you got a lot of experience watching from the bench and learning,'' recalls Jones.

Making a difference
During his career, Jones was called ``Mr. Clutch'' by sports commentators because of his ability to win crucial games at the last minute with his trademark bank shot. Wolf recalls the purity of Jones' shooting, and says he has not lost his shot. ``He has so much consistency and he knows the exact spot (on the backboard to hit) to make a basket from any part of the court,'' says Wolf.

The Celtics won a record eight consecutive championships from 1958-1966. The team won another two in 1968 and 1969 before Jones retired. Jones, who said his last championship was the most memorable because his team was an underdog, states that he loved playing basketball and being a part of the success of the Celtics. ``We were the best. There really was no comparison,'' says Jones with a smile. ``(Winning 10 championships) has never been done by any other team and I don't think it will ever be.''

After retiring and moving to Wheaton, Jones soon began substituting in 1994 at Montgomery County Public Schools because he wanted to help students understand the importance of doing well in school. ``I tell (students) that they should have good character and that they should be prepared to go to college,'' Jones says. ``(American kids live in) one of the few countries where they can get a free and good education and they are wasting their time if they're not trying to learn things in class.''

Jones substitutes primarily for physical education teachers, especially for Wolf, Cynthia Changuris, and Peggy Cameron. Jones occasionally teaches for English resource teacher Vickie Adamson as well. In addition, Jones substitutes as Springbrook High School, Richard Montgomery High School and Gaithersburg Middle School. He likes teaching at middle schools because his message ``can reach the kids earlier.''

Principal Phillip Gainous believes that the students, though they don't know of Jones' accomplishments, still react to Jones because of his dignity, manner, and appearance. ``He is able to interact with kids because they respond to him from the way he carries himself,'' says Gainous.

Gracefully aging
Looking back, Jones says few things, including the player's attitudes, have changed in the league since he has played. ``One thing for sure is that (current players) make much more than I made,'' says Jones, laughing. ``(Some players) should have more respect for the game. They too must be role models because there are so many people who envy them and I think they owe something to the society and to their fans.''

Adamson praises Jones' determination to teach. ``He substitutes because he wants to, not because he needs to. He has made a positive impact on the students, and he reinforces the idea that we can leave school but can come back to effect change,'' Adamson says.

Besides his work as a substitute teacher, other teachers commend Jones' friendly personality. ``He tells great stories, he's always in a good mood, and he's fun to be around,'' says Wolf.

Although he is best known for most effectively using the bank shot, Jones will be remembered for contributing his talent to basketball. ``Sam's one of the few people who can claim to have left an indelible mark on the game,'' writes Auerbach in his autobiography.

Gainous feels fortunate to have Jones work at Blair. ``At his level, (Jones) could be any place, and yet he chooses to interact with my kids,'' says Gainous, smiling. ``That's a privilege.''

When he's not substituting, Jones still plays basketball with community youngsters. ``(I play) with young people, especially middle school kids. High school kids are too big,'' says Jones with a chuckle. ``I can't run and jump like I used to.'' Wolf's student might disagree.

There's No Place Like Being In The Zone
Visualization, simulation and mental preparation help student athletes complete concentration
Jennifer Song, senior, Montgomery Blair High School, Silver Springs, Md.

With 13 seconds left on the clock, the wildly cheering crowd is on its feet. Yet girls' varsity basketball senior Shelly Browne is standing calmly on the free-throw line. The Blazers are up by two points, and the pressure is mounting. She twirls the ball, feeling the rubber grips between her slim fingertips. She dribbles a couple of times, telling herself ``Elbows straight,'' as she done in the past seven years. She glances at the basket while the noises around her ebb in her mind. ``Elbows straight, shoot straight,'' echoes through her thoughts as she releases the ball.

Meanwhile the varsity field hockey team is arranging themselves on the field. Rather than taking their usual positions, these girls are lying on their backs, shoulder to shoulder in the grass. With eyes closed, they each mentally visualize scoring a goal.

Recently, an increasing number of high school athletes have been conditioning their mental and physical strengths. These amateurs are emulating professional athletes who have sports psychologists to help them manage the emotions of a full-time sports career. Today, many nonprofessional coaches and athletes are beginning to recognize the importance of being ``mentally tough'' as a crucial aspect of excelling in any sport.

Mind over matter.

According to psychologist James Manktelow, setting goals is the most important technique in sports because they target what an athlete may expect to get out of playing.

Setting goals for each game is also effective in providing motivation. ``Goal setting makes you keep track of your performance in a game,'' says Browne. ``If you don't reach your goals, you want to work harder during the rest of the game to fulfill them.''

One tactic that is easy to use is visualization. The technique involves mentally rehearsing a competition in your mind. An athlete usually remembers a superb past performance, or an ideal game. ``The studies on visualization show that mentally rehearsing movements in your mind over and over facilitates performance,'' says Daniel Landers, professor of physical education and exercise science at Arizona State University, in a New York Times article.

Simulation is another technique used for mental preparation, which involves making your training environment as similar as possible to an actual game. Simulation recreates stresses so you are prepared to handle these situations during a game.

A third strategy is to evaluate the opponent before a match, which allows you to compare the opponent's strengths and weaknesses against your own powers. ``I try to assess my opponent beforehand so I know what I'm up against. Then I come up with a game plan,'' says senior Andrea Merriam, the girls' varsity tennis captain.

We're going to pump you up.
Stress is primarily caused by negative thinking and pressure to do well during a game. However, you are responsible for your own stress level. Psychologists say it is important to maintain an optimum level of stress because your body pumps adrenaline into your bloodstream when it undergoes stress. Although adrenaline can inhibit judgment and interfere with fine motor control, it causes alertness and prepares the body for explosive activity. You may experience anxiety, which comes from a concern about the lack of control over circumstances. Both stress and anxiety may have negative effects depending on how an individual player can manage these levels.

When a player maintains a moderate level of stress during a game, they enter a mental state of optimum performance. This state is known as ``the zone.'' Different players will have ``zones'' at varying levels of stress, but athletes who are ``in the zone'' describe the experience as feeling unstoppable. Blair graduate Peppi Browne can relate through her experiences in the zone. Peppi, who is currently a sophomore at Duke University, plays Division I intercollegiate women's basketball. ``I was in the zone when I played at a tournament in Florida. During the entire time, I didn't miss a single shot! That's definitely a great feeling,'' she said.

Can you take the heat?
The cheering crowds and the camera flashes are routine distractions that can easily sidetrack any player. The best way to deal with these diversions is to block them out by talking to yourself. ``Distractions are part of all sports but you can't listen to them,'' believes boys' varsity soccer senior Jelani Evering. ``You have to concentrate on the game and listen only to yourself.''

Another common distraction occurs when trying to meet expectations. Whether a family member or college scout is sitting in the crowd players naturally want to show off their talents.

However, some athletes, including Peppi Browne, advise others to stay focused and not lose sight of their main goals. ``You shouldn't put yourself under any real expectations. I just remember to give 110 percent at all times, and to play my best,'' she says.

Regulating feelings is also difficult during games. Sports psychologist Jim Loehr, author of The New Toughness Training for Sports, maintains that champions are emotional people, but great players will use their emotions rather than letting their emotions use them.

Athletes should not talk trash or make any unwarranted physical contact because they lose focus. ``If you get involved with an opponent it shows that you are more concerned with him than you are with the game,'' explains Evering.

Making mistakes is also a source of fear for athletes. But Loehr points out that coping with mistakes is a matter of attitude. ``You can either dwell on them or accept them, but it is important to remember that when you are distracted, lose concentration, or make a mistake, you have not lost your skills,'' he explains.

Power Plays.
Maintaining the flow of the game is a factor. Manktelow defines flow as ``the state of being completely engrossed in the execution of a performance.'' The athlete has complete control over what happens.< According to students, once you have found this flow, it is easy to rely on your body's natural reflexes. ``You think about nothing during a crucial point. You let the body's hard work and conditioning put itself together,'' says Merriam.

Other times, maintaining rhythm boosts confidence, and the team begins taking risks. ``When you have good momentum, you know that things are on your side,'' explains girls varsity volleyball senior Jen Tung. ``You make daring calls and take risks because you know that everything will go right.''

The team's primary goal should be to increase the pace when in control and, recover when the opponent is dominating. For example, Tung will purposefully stop to tie her shoe when the opposing team has found their rhythm. ``If someone's on a roll and somehow you disrupt that concentration by taking time to breathe, you can mess them up and regain the momentum of the game,'' she explains.

Post-game analysis.
After the last buzzer sounds, whether or not your team has won, the experts advise players to reflect on their performance in order to learn something new. ``We review videotapes of the game and consider the opponents' playing style. Then we discuss what was effective, what wasn't, and what needs improvement,'' girls' varsity basketball junior Alyssa Hughes explains.

A part of sports is accepting failure and moving on. In an interview following his Masters victory in 1997, professional Tiger Woods said, ``Every time you step onto the golf course, you will have some failure. I will lose more than I win. But the game itself does not change, and that's part of playing golf.''

Whether you will soon be setting up plays on the polished courts of the NBA, or tossing a football around with some friends, the most important things for your best mental game will stay the same: never lose confidence and never give up. ``As soon as you give up, there is no hope,'' says Michael Jordan, 35, in an interview posted on his homage. ``That's why it's important to keep your competitive edge, and to never lose that desire to play your best.''